All Girls are Crazy

So over the past week i've been a part of/viewed several situations pretty much proving that all girls are crazy. 1st off i have this friend who's been dating this girl for not very long... maybe a month or two... and she random started giving him hell as if he did something horribly wrong... being very short with him if talking to him at all... even bringing him to the point of wondering if she was going to break up with him... and then the next day everything's all hunky dory... acting like nothing happened at all... and my friend just goes along with it, i mean given i dont know the whole situation... i only got minimal details but from my point of view... she was just acting crazy. Now on the second front i have another friend who just started dating this girl, and they are great together, but his ex is insane! she is conniving and manipulative, and is doing nothing but trying to get inbetween them. so i get to hear all about this, and give my good advice. i cant help but compare this all with:

Daes Dae'mar: It refers to the political and social maneuvering employed by the nobility of various nations to gain status or wealth, or to cause the downfall of others.

I think about things that i say, and how i say them, whith what inflection i use, what words... in what order to encite the perfect reaction, or thought. I am also constatly watching for those same things that i so carefully put into my conversations. sometimes i impress myself with my ability to shape a conversation to my own advantages. so yes... i guess guys can be crazy as well... or maybe its just me? who knows. WHO KNOWS! but yeah, i also have my own set of problems... but those will have to be left up to your imagination... at least for now.

in the end, i guess everyone is crazy.

Dance with Jak 'O the Shadows

so i just think this is the coolest little diddy ever:


Dance With Jak o' the Shadows

We'll drink the wine till the cup is dry,
and kiss the girls so they'll not cry,
and toss the dice until we fly
to dance with Jak o' the Shadows...

We'll dance all night while the moon runs free,
and dandle the lasses upon our knee,
and then you'll ride along with me,
to dance with Jak o' the Shadows...

We'll sing all night, and drink all day,
and on the girls we'll spend our pay,
and when it's gone, then we'll away,
to dance with Jak o' the Shadows...

There's some delight in ale and wine,
and some in girls with ankles fine,
but my delight, yes, always mine,
is to dance with Jak o' the Shadows...

We'll toss the dice however they fall,
and snuggle the girls be they short or tall,
then follow young Mat whenever he calls,
to dance with Jak o' the Shadows.

2 Good movies

i watched 2 really good movies today, the first Australia was just beautiful, beyond the epic storyline, and great acting, the colors and scenery were just amazing! the little bits of mysticism and magic drew me in, and made it seem fanciful, against a harsh contrast of reality, and the colors seemed to mimic this perfectly.

the second was Doubt, which i expected to be good, but not as good as it was, thankfully no one had told me the ending, but just that the acting was superb, and it was... my favorite part of the movie was the fact that you dont know after the movie what the truth was... it lets you choose to believe what you want to believe.

so yes... watch those movies, and enjoy!

Alternate Universes

In my dream last night, i started out in a world like our world, but different, i would say it was like a modern medieval place. basically there were no fast food restaurants, no malls, no tv. But there were trains, and bathrooms and heating, and stuff like that. i was living in this kingdom ruled by a spoiled brat of a king, who had his cronies and thought he could do whatever he wanted, because he was king, and he segregated against certain classes. I was part of a rebel force trying to over throw him, some of the people in this world had magic powers, i myself could "shadow" which meant i could fade from peoples notice, well i was almost caught and had to escape so i ran past the boarder of our lands into the unknown lands, the waste... the waste turned out to be occupied by the TRUE king in exile, he roamed the wastes with a small band of ruffians all who had once been royal knights, i remember seeing a map, and supposedly the waste used to be a beautiful kingdom, separated into 4 provinces, and ruled by the true king, and the place that was currently the kingdom ruled the the wrong king was actually just another province. well i convinced the true king that he needed to over throw his brother, and take his rightful place. so he road around the wastes gathering support and his army grew larger and larger. there were others like me who could shadow, and do other things and we were sent first to make the way, to sow seeds of discontent, to rot his rule from the inside so it would be easy to over throw him... and then it switched point of views and i was watching one of the other spies and she was sent to talk to this lord, who in actuality was not even from out universe, he kidnapped her because he loved her, and was trying to convince her of that, and in actuality she loved him too... but had a strong sense of duty, and thought she should be back in kingdom helping over throw the wrong king, then it came back to my point of view and i was sneaking around in a train, that had steam showers and saw a bunch of random people... some hiding some just normal people who didn't know what was going on, but most of them were people i know in real life. then i started to wonder what had happened to whatever her name was (there were no names in the whole dream... i just knew who the person was) and then i flashed back to her, and she was in our world, being held captive... not entirely against her will... and she was in a subway standing in line at a subway waiting to order some food, and the lord (her capture) had told her to stay there he had to "use the bathroom" but he was actually going to check on this gateway to the realm she was from... then i woke up.


i really wish i had more of the details but this dream was not as vivid most of my other dreams... i remember some things like how the gang of ruffians all wore outfits like han solo and road horses and were really awesome fighters. but yep. thats it.

$ -6,157.62

So, i woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm clock... i really like the song im using as an alarm cause it eases me awake. I roll over and realize its friday, so i grab my phone and open it up to check my bank account balance to see how much i have after my check went through... this is 6:45 am mind you. My phone was being unusually slow but eventually got to my banks site, and instead of finding $800+ in my account, i found i had $ -6,157.62 instead. Well i kinda just stared at it for a bit... kinda confused... knowing there was no way that that was legit at all. but... even then, i kept trying to think of some way it could possibly be real, i even divided by $70 to see how many times i would have had to overdraft in order for me to get that price (88x) IMPOSSIBLE. then i was like, "well maybe someone i owe money too was able to take it all out... College foundation... no, i owe them way more than $6000, Capital One... no, i just got a statement from them..." pretty much no one could have legally done that w/out letting me know, and even though i knew all of this, i was still scared it might be true. BUT i called my mom, and she checked her balance it was in the neg $2000 so it was obviously a bank error, so once 9am rolled around i went by the bank and turns out its a bank wide glitch that they are working on, and will hopefully get fixed today... untill then i have $20, strike that, $11 (i got brueggers) to last till they do decide to fix it. oh well, at least its not on my head, i can rest easy.

but man, you NEVER want to wake up to $ -6,157.62 it sucks!

War Dreams

Last night i dreamed that i was in a war, my side was stuck surrounded on two sides by overwhelming numbers... but we had 2 holes with mortar like guns that shot round bombs that didn't always explode when they hit the other side so the enemy threw them back... and some times we were able to throw them back one more time... on one side there was a dirt embankment that the enemy was hiding behind, and the other side was woods... and we were under constant fire. the enemy was made up of farmers and families, not solders, and we were in the US army... but there were only 5 of us, and at least 20 of them... at one point after almost 36 hrs of non stop fighting on both sides, we were able to communicate to them a cease fire so that we could both sleep... i think they were turkey... during this cease fire i went in to the woods behind us and was attacked by Indians, that were planning on ambushing both sides and killing everyone, i found this other girl running from them, and we both made it back to our camps, she had studied in britan so she could speak english and turkish, so we were able to tell the enemy that we would not attack them, if they didn't attack us durring this attack of the indians... and we saw that there were women and children on that side... and decided that we were not going to attack them at all... that we were going to call it a stailmate... and leave it be.

then i woke up.

The Last Kiss

So im watching The Last Kiss and actually... im not getting more depressed than i already am... very surprising because normally i would, or do? i dont know... but yeah, all wanting to get married, and all that jazz... missing being in love... wanting a family... wanting to fulfill my dreams... and being scared, because i dont know what the future holds, i dont know how i am going to be able to do these things i want... for the most part... in my life, i have plans, i have plans upon plans, back up plans to plans of plans that haven't even begun... but now, i dont know, i can't see the future, i have no plan for being alone. and actually, zack braff said, "Everything feels pretty planned out, you know?. It's like I know everything that's gonna happen. There are no more surprises" and that got me to thinking... my life isn't planned out, i have a hell of a lot more surprises left! im just gonna be walking along in life, and BAM! im going to meet the woman of my dreams, and BAM! we're gonna get married... and all these things i want, will come out of no where... and you know what... im glad i dont know whats going to happen, cause its going to be even more exciting than i can possibly predict.

Groundhogs Day

Apparently Groundhogs Day was yesterday, im glad no one told me about it... but its cool, luckily i did not re-live the day over again, VERY lucky. It would have really sucked if yesterday was the day i re-lived over and over again... and then i started thinking about what exactly i'd do if i could re-live a day over and over again... i'd probably talk to more people, i'd obviously not go to work, i'd say things to people to see there reaction a lot more, crazy things... cause basically it all just comes down to no consequences ... what would i do, if there were no long term consequences... a LOT of doing things to see peoples reactions... im very curious about that... about how people would react if i did or said certain things to them. im not sure why, but it fascinates me beyond anything else if asked what kind of super power i would want, i'd choose time travel (and by time travel i mean the tree branch theory where every decision is a split in the branch so i could travel up and down and up another branch through time) and i'd choose that for the very same reason... no consequences, so that i could test people, and see there reactions... why am i so fascinated by this? im really not all that sure, the more i think about it the more i realize im probably holding a lot back for fear of peoples reactions... which, in one sense is good, but in another its not. I realize one can not go around testing peoples reactions or everyone would hate you... if you went up to someone and slapped them in the face for no reason what so ever... they would be none to happy... but if you could do that, and then go back in time and NOT do it... it wouldn't matter... and you could see exactly just how they reacted... and i guess a lot of it stems to my insecurities with myself, if i find some girl attractive i think, "you should go up and tell her you think so" but then i think "dont do that she'd think you were a freak" but honestly? would she? who knows, no one will ever know... because im always afraid to do it. honestly... i think fear runs my life than i tend to believe... i think i may have to make moves to correct this.

dont be fearful!